A World of Pain

After our intro session, the  Crossfit people sent us a follow up email with some info and  some simple exercises to do until we decided to join up (rather a cheeky assumption surely?).

The exercises comprised squats, push ups and crunches with the beginner’s version being 30 of each, 20 of each then 10 of each.   I gave them a go on Sunday night and posted the outcome on Facebook:  not pretty.

Photo: Totally knackered after after a beginners Crossfit attempt:  30 squats, push ups, crunches, then 20 of each, then 10.  OMG.

The net result is that I’ve spent the last 2 days walking around like a penguin, saying ‘oof’ when collapsing into chairs and groaning when trying to stand up.

There is a very Scottish verb – to ‘hirple’ which perfectly illustrates the attempt to walk in this contracted state – a sort of grandad shuffle.  Neil watches me tottering around and says helpful things like ‘aye well, auld age dis’nae come alane’*  and I want to brain him with a blunt object.

We’ve decided not to do the Crossfit thing – ‘old and knackered’ probably isn’t their target demographic, plus the email was a bit snippy, so it was an easy decision for us to keep our $375 a month and spend it elsewhere.

I have my fingers crossed that the dosh is going to nosedive straight into my Business Class Travel to Europe Jam Jar  (current contents:  $65.50) but Neil may take some persuading.  Especially as he’ll be left in Economy ha ha ha.

Only $6,933.50 to go.
All donations gratefully received

So tonight, in gratitude for not having to go to Crossfit, I decided to have another go at the squats/pushups/crunches.   I timed myself – not having bothered on Sunday thinking I wouldn’t even finish.

Of course, tonight was worse.  Within 2 minutes I thought my head was going to explode.

Doing 30 squats isn’t funny – well it’s probably hilarious if you’re standing watching.  But then there was 30 pushups:  I cheated to get through these.  There was no 90 degree angle with the arms, no chest to the floor; it was a 5 degree bend – if I got my chest onto the floor I wasn’t confident I could get it back up again.  Then 30 crunches.  I should have just done 30 in total but thought that would be cheating (idiot), plus I was feeling guilty about the pathetic push ups.  So I did 30 straight sit ups then 30 to each side.  Repeat whole thing again.  And again.

So that’s:  60 squats, 60 push ups and a bazillion crunches.  It took 15 minutes, 36 seconds and 9 nanobots.

Head explosion imminent

Pass me a glass of Sav Blanc immediately.  I deserve it.

*In the Queen’s English:  old age doesn’t come alone.   A typically grim, dour, Scottish approach to life.  

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2 comments

  1. That’s a shame you guys aren’t going with it. Doesn’t work doing it at home. You need fellow members groaning together and encouraging you to continue. All WODs are scalable. eg. filthy 50. Some do 20, others 30, others 40. If the coaches are good they should be able to do this once they get to know where u are at. Agree that it is not cheap though but how we see it is, it’s cheaper than a personal trainer and since it’s our health….. Was $375 for 2? There are lots of xfit gyms around if u do not like the one you went to. They really should not offer free intro classes and force u to pay for 5 sessions to really get the feel and learn the techniques before starting a real WOD. My Pinterest board if it motivates. http://pinterest.com/lindayeung/crossfit-fitness-inspiration/ 😛

  2. Yes – 2 sessions a week for 2 people. It worked out as the same price as Fitness First – so that’s not the problem. I was annoyed that they offered us some casual classes before signing up and so when I asked for 2 sessions on a casual basis, they said this wasn’t possible – the offer was made on the basis of an out of date automatic response email. I’ll have a look at some other options. Maybe just not this lot.

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