The NSW Fashion Police responded to an emergency call out in Sydney’s CBD today after receiving reports of a woman seen degrading a pair of iconic Christian Louboutin heels in broad daylight.
Police confirmed “earlier today, an attempt was made to carry off the ‘Urban Trollop’ look but that the accused was in fact modelling ‘East German Olympic Shot-Putter in Drag’.A shocked witness said “It was horrible”.
A Fashion Police spokesperson commented “this look is wrong on so many levels. The accused is in flagrant breach of the crucial arse to ankle ratio, plus, we have sufficient evidence to prove that she is wearing shoes bigger than her head”.
Fashion industry sources confirmed that ‘Urban Trollop’ can be a particularly tricky look to pull off as it sits midway between ‘Inner City Skank’ and ‘Suburban Pole Dancer’.
The look relies heavily on irony, as in ‘I may seem cheap but I’m actually really classy’.
Police noted that “unfortunately, the required level of classiness was clearly absent in this case”.
The accused’s mother publicly disowned her daughter, stating ”she does the same thing with Jimmy Choos. I’m so ashamed”.
Monsieur Louboutin could not be reached for comment.