Chamonix – A Fashion Forward Moment

You saw it here first.  A sneak preview of what we’ll all be wearing next winter in Sydney:Love the thigh-length hairy yeti boots.  Love the matching, stuffed-dead-animal hats (taxidermy is so hot right now).  The puffa jackets are in tweed – a quirkily French note.  Or perhaps it’s ironic?  Who knows with the French.

As for the leggings, get your knitting needles out and start casting on.  We’re deep into extreme knitting territory here – they look like they’re in a fine jersey but they’re really knitted; knitted as in ‘knit one purl one’.  

There are 3 obvious design flaws:

(i) high risk of frostbite in the nethers – they’re wide open to every sub-zero draught and snow flurry

(ii)  there’s no handbag – where can I put my Gauloises, my credit cards, my lip gloss, my Mars Bar and my small, yappy dog?  I could shove them all down the front of the leggings – nice and warm so Flaw No 1 would be fully addressed, but could ruin the look

(iii) saggy gusset syndrome; after 5 minutes sitting down, you’ll look like you’ve got a wet nappy on when you stand up again.   Saggy gussets lead to chafing issues.  Nasty.

This outfit will look terrific on anyone who’s 1.8m tall, a size 2 or less and essentially stationary.  And French of course.  DON’T attempt this look if you don’t meet the minimum requirements. 

Otherwise you’ll look like a furball the cat threw up.

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4 comments

  1. I’m stifling the laughter on a packed 504 to the city. Look like deranged sociopath. Thanks for brightening the trip. Now, must dash to Lincraft and pick up 18 balls of white wool 🙂

  2. I saw those boots and immediately thought of you! Also thought you’d appreciate the advance notice so you can be ahead of the trend for next winter. And I’d go for the 4 ply.

    Sympathise re being stuck on Vic Rd – am currently gazing out over Lac Leman towards Lausanne in the distance…..

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