Today was 40 minutes non-stop. It was a strange experience; just a slog. No ‘wow I’ve done something amazing’, I just felt flat.
Have been thinking about it all day and realised that I’m in the grief cycle.
There’s definately been tons of SHOCK & DENIAL. The shock took the form of retreating into a la-la land of ‘oh yes I can run a half marathon’ without really thinking through what might be involved. The denial has been mainly on Neil’s side (HOW much money for 2 pairs of trainers and what about all these socks you’ve been buying? Well? Well?).
Moving on into the ANGRY phase: ooooh, lots of denial here: ‘I’m sure that if I keep trying it’ll get better soon’, ‘this will help me lose 10kg’, ‘I need more socks’ and ‘ice cream is the breakfast of champions’ (I can explain that one).
DEPRESSED: been there. The loneliness and self-pity (I’m all on my own; nobody understaaaands etc etc – there’s a lavish production of Half Marathon – the Opera going on in my head). The ocasional panic (‘I’m going to make a complete fool of myself’ and ‘I really have no idea how far 21kms is, do I??’) . No guilt whatsoever. I am completely at ease with my shoe and sock buying decisions.
DETACHED: spending lots of time in here resigned and apathetic. It’s crap. I ran 40 minutes non-stop this morning (I may have already mentioned this) and felt completely fed up. It wasn’t until later in the day when I’d cheered up a bit and realised what I’d actually achieved: 4 weeks ago I could barely run for 3 minutes, now I can do 40 minutes. That’s amazing.
I’ll probably wallow around in depressed and detached for a while longer but I can feel it starting to lift already.
Going out for a run tonight to see how far I can get round Iron Cove in 40 minutes.
ESSENTIALLY INERT 
40 minutes non-stop, that’s amazing.
What is it with the sock buying though?
Thanks – I am quite chuffed now that I’ve got over the shock. Socks: I can never find any. Neil says I should try learning to use the washing machine (no chance).
Grace, Grace, Grace…just keep remembering there is also a phase called ELATION! You are being far too hard on yourself. As you said , when you kicked off you could barely run 3 mins and now you can do 40. That’s about the same time as it take to find something in aisle 6 at Woollies and so I think I know what you would rather tbe doing with your time. Keep on keeping on! MC
Thanks Michael for always being so supportive and positive about the whole thing.
Aisle 6 in Woolies is a parallel universe of some kind I think. I’ve lost days of my life in there….
keep up the good work
You still have Woolies? Tell me this is an Antipodean (parallel universe) Woolies!
It’s sort of Woolies but not. More like a Scottish Safeway but without the choice. Definately a parallel universe sort of thing.